First Official Neighborkid Dinner

Today we held the first of our official, monthly Neighborkid Dinners, with 8-year-old Holly as our honored neighbor.  This tradition really got its start a couple months ago, when the neighborkids planned and hosted a “Da’Sean Dinner” here at “La Casa Chica” as a way for us to rally around and inspire our fellow neighbor Da’Sean - power-reader, puppy-lover and lizard-catcher extraordinaire.  

Since then, other neighborkids have been saying, “Let’s have a dinner for me!”  This seemed like a great idea, so a new tradition was born.

One thing that makes the monthly neighborkid dinners are a bit different from other student-oriented gatherings is that they are not in response to challenges that kids are experiencing.  Rather, they are a way for us to celebrate and honor our neighborkids and hopefully to discover and invent even more ways that the kids as individuals, and all of us as neighbors, together might reach our fullest potential. 

As the January Neighborkid of Honor, Holly decided on the invitation list and menu, and then picked out pictures that she wanted to include on the invitation that we created together to announce the dinner.  Here is the cover of the invitation, with photos we’ve taken in the neighborhood over the past 6 months that illustrate just a few of Holly’s many neighborly ways:

 Holly invited a variety of people from the neighborhood, all of whom live on our block– neighborkids (including one of our 2-year-old neighborbabies), a few adult neighbors, and a neighbor-pup, along with some family members:  her parents, her teenage aunt, and her cousin’s girlfriend.  She also decided to invite a couple of classmates (one boy and one girl), and some school staff (the principal and two teachers:  not only her current-year teacher, but also her last-year teacher, whom Holly describes as somebody who has loved her).  Holly raised the point that we would need to give these school folks a map, so they could find their way to the dinner.    

Another thing that makes these kid-oriented gatherings unique is that the invitation list is totally up to the child, rather than being decided upon by adults.   This then makes it possible for us to follow kid-wisdom, from which there is much to learn.  Holly’s selections help us to recognize that:

• Even babies play a significant role in supporting the well-being of kids on the block, and the neighborhood as a whole.  Pets too. 
• Kids are able to spot particular adults in their life, even beyond those in their families and schools, who they sense matter in helping them reach their potential.
• Kids recognize the value of loving bonds formed with teachers, which do not evaporate when a new school year begins, and have the potential to provide ongoing caring, even when an everyday classroom relationship no longer exists between the teacher and the child.

Holly also decided on the meal for the dinner:  Cheese pizza, Chicken, Corn on the Cob, and Double Chocolate Chip Cookies.  Here’s a picture of her working on the menu:

One thing that surprised us about the menu was that Holly included wine!  When asked about that she said, “Well, I want us to use your grandmother’s special wine glasses!”  (These are crystal glasses I inherited from my grandmother, which the kids know I only bring out on very special occasions.)  We talked a bit about how some adults don’t drink wine, and we wouldn’t be able to serve wine to the kids either, so how about sparkling grape juice too, which would be just as deserving of the special wine glasses?   So that’s how sparkling grape juice made it on the menu.  What struck me about Holly’s menu planning was the natural way in which she began incorporating tradition and ritual into the celebration.   

In planning for the dinner, we also spent a lot of time preparing materials to share with all the invited guests – “folders” for all the people invited to be on “Team Holly.”  We started by creating a “neighborkid profile” for Holly.  Holly picked out a photo to include at the top of the page – she chose a picture of herself in her fancy Easter dress.  Next she filled in responses to all the questions we came up with:  age, school, grade, teacher, favorite color, favorite subject, favorite book, neighborly talents, etc.

Next came the “4 hopes” section.   What do you hope for yourself in a year?  For yourself when you are a teenager?  For yourself when you are a grown-up?  What do you hope for our neighborhood?  Here are Holly’s responses:

In a year:  To stay on track in school.

As a teenager:  To go to high school and graduate.

As a grown-up:  To have a car.

For our neighborhood:  To have fun as a neighborhood. 

So…talk about neighborkid wisdom!  That these are Holly’s particular wishes is revealing of the extent to which she, as a first-grader, is paying close attention to the messages of the world around her.  My sense is that she is listening to the stories she is hearing (which I have heard in this neighborhood too) about how opportunities are limited without a high school diploma.  She is experiencing both the limitations of not having a car readily available (which means she has no guaranteed way to school if she misses the bus) and also the opportunities that are available within driving distance, when a car is on hand (for example, church, parades, and stores).  She is both generating and involving herself in neighborhood fun, so that she has a genuine appreciation of how fun "on the block" matters.

When we combine Holly's wisdom with a heightened awareness of place (taking a look at a neighborhood map of assets, and a city map of our neighborhood among many, and a county map of the neighborkids' schools in the context of the entire district, along with some distributions that reveal where their schools compare to others on various features), we can begin to better understand the current realities affecting kids in our neighborhood, and to spot opportunities for each of us to make decisions and take action that might help our neighborhkids - and all of us - to reach our fullest potential.

OK, enough already - this is a blog, not a chapter book!  So here are some pics of the celebration itself - thank you for being a great neighbor, Holly!